Things We Should Know By Now

written by: Cory Q

Never get involved in a land war in Asia.
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line.
Looking down is bad.
If it looks easy in the sales pitch, it will be hell in your living room.
Yes, people are that stupid.
She will, but not with you.
The government is not nearly so well organized enough to pull off a proper conspiracy.
No one making money at something can actually be "objective" in their view point about it.
Bigger is better when it comes to speakers.
Nothing will make your Buick cool. Nothing!
"The People" don't have any idea what they want.
Men like boobs and will look at them.
No one wants to do the dishes.
It can always be worse.
Your friends and relative don't really hold the same political views as you.
There is always enough blame to go around but that won't fix anything.
Rarely is the easy path the right one.
People will do what is easy rather than what is right.
Contentment is a stronger force than most people wish to acknowledge.
Being surprised at economic contraction is stupid: Things don't get bigger infinitely.
Individuals are often fine and reasonable More than one person at a time is foolish and dangerous.
The most popular thing is also the most mediocre.
Salt, fat and sugar taste better than vegetables.
Nerds run the world.
Yes, people are that kind.
St. Patrick’s Day isn’t about being Irish, i'’s about being drunk.
Having a pony tail and thinning hair just makes it much, much worse.
Someone is always going to complain about the weather.
Not voting lets the other guy's voice be heard twice as loud.
There never were "The Good Old Days", things were shitty then too.
The chorus of "Sweet Dreams (Are Made of These)" by the Eurhythmics is completely true.
My experience does not negate your experience and vice versa.
There is no such thing as bad press.
Exercising sucks but the human body needs resistance and activity.
Names of past loves are forever haunted.
People don't want actual advice, they want commiseration.
Anonymity brings jackassery.
No one reads The Bible or Shakespeare, but everyone knows enough to get by.
"Ice Ice Baby" was a good song.
The Grammys and the Oscars are public masturbation by an entire industry.
Praise in public, scold in private.
If someone says you should get together but won't pick a date right away that means they don't want to get together. They were just being nice.
If you think an outfit makes you look fat, it does.
If you have to smell a piece of clothing to see if it is clean enough to wear, it isn't.
It's both the heat and the humidity.
Faith and religion are two different things.
No one in Nigeria is going to give you money.
Neither a borrower nor lender be.
It's Amway.
Complaining on the internet won't get you anywhere, but it might get you more readers.

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