On Joblessness

written by: SAH

This originally appeared as a piece on the homepage the week of 4/8/02.
I was discussing my joblessness with my dad and said, somewhat facetiously, that the problem with America is that were are too free. Life would be simpler if we were just told what we needed to do and what our futures held for us. Unfortunately, we are free to do anything. And, as our culture would have it, if you have “good” parents and teachers they tell you as you’re growing up that you can be anything you want to be. We can do anything we want to do if we put our minds to it. If we are determined, the world is open to us. Want to be an astronaut? Study hard, work for it, and maybe one day you will be. Want to be president? Do mediocre in school, find a friend or family member with a lot of money, cheat a little, and bingo, you’re president.

This makes finding a job, much less a career or “calling,” very difficult for some of us. The prospect of choosing anything from everything, is a bit overwhelming. Of course, as you move along in life, your choices are realistically limited, but the “I can do anything” mentality is not easily tossed aside.

For those who know what they want and have the determination to go along with it, the world is truly open (to Americas)–you can achieve your dreams. This is true, despite popular opinion being otherwise, regardless of your status in society or race. Some may need to work harder (much harder) to get what they want. But if you work for it, you can get it. (Or so says the dogma preached to me and as exampled by may an American “hero”).

The problem is that while we are being told these magnificent things by our parents and teachers, society at large is giving us no reason to drive forward. Our focus is not on betterment and achievement. We are not being imbued with desire to achieve or ambition to do great things. We, as a nation, have great potential, but it is unfocused and largely wasted.

Instead we are mostly being prepared for a long life of subservient consumerism with no real goal to it at all, save to buy and consume all that we are able to. And even for those who achieve “greatness,” this remains an underlying goal. So what then do we do? Would I give up this freedom which brings only indecision and doubt? Yes, yes I would. I wish my family had some sort of legacy, some occupation to which I was destined, no choices to be made, just the knowledge that when I grow up I will be a farmer, a cop, a president... whatever.

One of the hardest parts of being unemployed is having simply to decide what you want to do and also determining what, at this point, is out of your reach. If you are able to decided, you have only to be filled to the brim with determination to achieve your goals. But what of us with no real goals? (or ones that are wholly unrealistic?) What about those of use who don’t know what we want to do, but certainly know what we don’t want to do? For us, the path is long and tedious, often filled with absurd choices that ultimately bring little satisfaction where life as a whole is concerned. I stand at a threshold, before me are two paths, one, which may or may not lead to something good (but could lose me a lot of financial ground in the process) or the other path, one which will more than likely secure my financial future (or keep it from losing ground) but which may not provide any long term fulfillment. I’m not sure which to choose, but my instinct tells me to go against my philosophical idealism and just get a job, pay the bills, life will be no better or worse for it over all.

So I earn enough to pay for my car, my cable TV, etc. So what? Have I contributed anything to society? Do I need to? It almost seems pointless to contribute to a society so hell bent on destroying itself. Melodramatic perhaps, but do you actually think a society based on entertainment and greed can stand forever? A society that wastes its natural and mental recourses? Given the wealth and well being of America as a whole, we could be channeling our energy into advancing society, making the world better for everyone, not just a few lucky, selfish bastards. But that is not who we are. that is not what we are trained to do. And until, and unless, we change our focus as a society, it is damn near pointless to fight the current.

I will find a job, I will do my work, I will earn my money, I will buy my things. But I’m not convinced that this is any better than hunting my food on an open prairie, or living an ascetic life studying the philosophies of the world – nor am I convinced it is any worse.

So, arrrrgggg, I say. But not like a pirate. More as a frustrated and overwhelmed American male... product of the “you can do anything” mentality, but lacking the will and the determination to do anything at all.

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